Ukuqonda Indlela Yokunethezeka KwiIntimacy
ukuthandana okukhululekileyoubudlelwaneunxibelelwanoukuzinakekela

Ukuqonda Indlela Yokunethezeka KwiIntimacy

Maya Thompson8/22/20254 min read

Masihambe siye kwindawo ethile esiyicingayo kodwa singavumi ukuyixoxa ngokukhululekileyo—ukuthandana okukhululekileyo. Le mikhombandlela ibandakanya unxibelelwano, ukudala indawo efanelekileyo, kunye nokwamkela ubudlelwane kunye.

Ukuqonda Indlunkulu NgeNhlonipho

O! Masidlale endabeni ethile esinokuyicabanga kodwa singayixoxanga ngokuqonda—ukuthandana okukhululekile. Uyazi, uhlobo lokuthandana lapho uzizwa ungena futhi ungena, kokubili emzimbeni nasekuphileni? Le yindawo emnandi esifuna ukufika kuyo. Ngakho, bamba ibhendi evusayo, mhlawumbe ube nesikhumbuzo (ngoba masikhumbule, ubani ongenandaba nezikhumbuzo?), futhi masixoxe ngendlela yokukwenza lokhu kwenzeke.

Ukuxhumana Kubalulekile

Okokuqala: ukuxhumana. Kungase kubonakale kuyisitshudeni, kodwa ngiyathembisa ukuthi kuyikho. Cabanga wena nomlingani wakho njengeqela lempumelelo ephezulu. Uma omunye wenu forgets i-punchline noma uphoxekile ekulindelweni, wonke umsebenzi ungase ube yimpumelelo. Izenzo ezithile zifana nesixhumi se-intimacy. Xoxa nomlingani wakho ngalokho okukhululekile, okungakhululekanga, nakho okuthokozisayo. Qala ngengxoxo evulekile ngezinto ezikuthokozisayo nezinto ezikukhathazayo—lokhu kulungisa umkhankaso wokuhlanganyela okuthokozisayo.

Zama ukukubuza imibuzo efana, “Yini oyithokozisayo kakhulu ngezikhathi ezinzima?” noma “Ingabe kukhona okuthandayo ukukwenza okungakaze sikhangele?” Lokhu kusiza ukudala isimo sokuthokozisa lapho bobabili ningakhuluma khona ngenkululeko, ngaphandle kokukhathazeka ngempumelelo.

Dala Umkhathi Ofanele

Okwesibili, masikhulume ngendawo. Cabanga: uhlehlela esiteji ukuze ube ne-performance enkulu, futhi ukhuluma, izibani zikhanya, izithameli zilinde, futhi uzwa ukuthula. Kungekho ukujabulisa okufana nalokhu, akunjalo? Lokhu kusebenza nangendawo yakho ethokozisayo. Ukwenza indawo enokuthula kungasiza kakhulu.

Cabanga ukukhanya okuncane, umculo othokozisayo, noma ngisho nemikhono ethokozisayo. Inhloso lapha ukuhlinzeka indawo yakho ibe indawo yokwamukela nokuthokozisa. Umoya omncane uhlangothisa kakhulu. Mhlawumbe noma ungeze amaphilim memori ukuze uthole ukunethezeka okwengeziwe. Uqonde ukuba ubukeke sengathi usendaweni yakho eyimfihlo lapho ungadela khona ulwazi lwezinto.

Gcizelela Indlunkulu

Masibhekane nayo: indlunkulu ibalulekile! Uma ungazizwa ungathokozile emzimbeni wakho noma uma zikhona izithiyo (sawubona, izingubo ezivuvuzayo), kungase kubangele ukungathembeki. Ngakho, wear into okukwenza uzizwe kahle! Izindwangu ezikhalayo nezithokozisayo zingathokozisa umoya. Ufuna ukwazi ukukhipha ngaphandle, njengomcomedi okhulumayo okungase kuguquke—akukho muntu ofuna ukuba aphawulelwe yizikhwama ezinzima noma, uNkulunkulu akuvumele, i-wedgie engajabuleki!

Futhi, ungakhohlwa ukucabangela indlunkulu yakho ethokozisayo. Uma kunezikhumbuzo ezithile ezicacile, ungabaze ukusho lokhu! Gcina kushaya ugesi kakhulu futhi usebenzise ihlaya ukunciphisa ukungazi: “Ngiyathanda lo msebenzi, kodwa kubonakala sengathi ngizama ukunqamula esiteji ngaphandle kokushintshela kahle!”

Yamukela Ukuthandana

Ukwamukela kwenza isenzo sokwamukela kumqokela wakho. Kukwenza uthokozise futhi ufudumele! Thatha isikhathi sokwamukela futhi uhlole ukuthi yikuphi okwenza bobabili nifudumele. Lokhu akukhona nje ngokoqobo; futhi kubalulekile ukwakha ubudlelwano obuphumelelayo.

Ungaluphakamisela umqondo wempumelelo yokuhamba okuhle. Ezinye, kungase kube isixhumi sokubamba emkhathini wezithombe ngesikhathi tevothe noma ngaphandle kokukhuluma ngezinhlelo zakho ezithandwa. Ngokwengeza, uhlanga uthando oluthokozisayo.

Hlola Ndawonye

Manje lapha kuphakathi kokuphenduka—ukuhlola ndawonye! Lokhu kufana nokuhamba kwegolide kwezobuchwepheshe. Awudingi ukuba umsebenzisi ezahlukene ukuze uthole okusebenzayo; konke kusemkhankasweni. Mhlawumbe zama izikhundla ezintsha noma izindawo—ukuhlala kumnandi futhi kuphumelele, kuyasebenza, ngokuqinisekile!

Sebenzisa ithuluzi elijabulisayo njenge random word generator ukuze uqukethe imiqondo emisha yokuhlola. Ngokwesibonelo, uma "beach" ivuleka, mhlawumbe ungahlela ukubuyela emanzini abanzi! Kunokwandisa nokuphuza ukuvumela izindlela ezintsha nezizimele.

Ungazithukuthezi ekuthandeni. Ukuhleka kungaba yinxenye emangalisayo yokuhlunahla. “Oops, sifunde panganani! Masikhumbule futhi sikhiphe umqondo "," kungachithwa ukungathembeki.

Qaphela Imikhawulo

Yonke impumelelo emangalisayo inemikhawulo yayo, futhi nezikhathi zakho ezinzima kufanele zibe nanoma. Kubalulekile ukwethembela migudu yomkhalipha. Uma into ibukeka ingenakufundwa noma iphikisa kokwambala, kuliqembu elinyukile! Ukuhlinzeka ubuhlakani kukuhlobisa nalabo.

Ngaphambi kokuhlola, uhlelo lwezingcaphuno. Ungase usebenzise uhlu 'yebo noma cha' ukuhlinzeka izikhala zakho zokuxhumana. Lokhu kukhulula umgomo ojulile futhi kukhulisa kuphela ukuzethemba, uqonda ukuthi kulungile.

Zithokozise Ubulili

Ngaphambi kokuthi ungafiki endaweni ethokozisayo, ungakuphuthelwa ukunakekelwa. Lokhu kufana nosizo zokuqala kumqokela - kubalulekile ukuze ube nemphumelelo! Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi u-practice i-mindfulness, uhamba, noma uthokozisa ngobisi, yenzenjani! Njengoba uphwa, uzokhuthaza ngempumelelo nokuthokozisa, okuyuenti.

Naka Futhi Ufundile

Ngemuva kwezikhathi zakho ezithokozisayo, thatha isikhathi sokubona kahle lokho okwenzekileyo kahle nokuthi mhlawumbe ungathanda ushintsho olungama ezinsukwini ezizayo. Cabanga njengokuphehla ukuthokozisa. Yiziphi izinto ezikhethiwe? Uthole okuthile okulungile mayelana nobudlelwano benu?

Le ndaba ingaphezu kokuba izikhathi ezintsha ezifanele ohlangothini. Mhlawumbe uthole ngendlela othokozisa ngayo omunye umqondo othokozisayo noma ukuthi ingoma ethile ingakwenza ube ne-pulse oba ngezinhlange. Uthanda indlela enezinhlelo ezibalulekile, umsebenzi omuhle, kokubili ngaphakathi nangaphandle komako!

Isiphetho

Ukuthandana okukhululekile kuncike ekuxhumaneni okuvulekile, ukudala umkhathi ofanele, nasemithini ekhethekile eyenza bobabili ukhule. Ngokubeka izinsuku, uhlola ndawonye, futhi uqonda imikhawulo, ungakwazi ukuhlinzeka ngempumelelo ethokozisayo. Ngakho, qhubeka nokuhleka, uvulelekile ekuthatheni izinto ezintsha, futhi, okubaluleke kakhulu, ujabulele uhambo lokuhlangana. Ngaphandle kokuthi kungakanye kubhalwa, kunokuthi kuxhaswe ابن المصري.